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So, like every other Tom, Dick, and Harry posting on here I'm looking for that woman who'll fill my nights with passion. But unlike those others I'm not going to try to woo and wow you with my impressive dick size or my hardcore oral talents.
...mostly because I don't have any of these things. Look, I'm just an average guy. One thing I never understood is how men obtain their measurements anyway. I mean, is there a standardized system for where to begin the measurement? I doubt it. I think its stupid, but after reading about everyone and their grandmother posting their dick size maybe it matters to some folks; so here...wait, hold on...
OK, measured one way (and the way that I think would matter most to you, if it matters at all) I get about 5 1/2 inches. Measured another way you can tack another inch or so to it. I get the impression that that's kind of a dinky winky, but whatever. I don't care if you don't care, and if you do care perhaps there are other ways to compensate. Like I said, whatever. Oh! while skimming the site to see what other guys were saying I had the unfortunate opportunity to see a lot of the most freakishly looking penis' on the planet (at least I hope so). So it might be worth noting that while it may not be massive muscle of love it doesn't look like something best left in Frankenstein's lab either. Just normal.
Now the saying goes that it's not the size that matters but how you use it. Well, I'm not as convinced as I could be, but just in case you are let me tell you something else. I don't know how to use it. That's right, I'm about as inexperienced as they come- the pro side being that you can be reasonably assured that I'm clean as a whistle. Now as you can imagine, that's the true motivation behind this posting. Here I am 26 years old and I don't know how to make it with girls. I'm kinda at that age where people expect you to know what you're doing, you know? But that ain't likely unless somebody takes some time to show me around the area if you catch my drift. Now, I ain't bad lookin'. No horrible burns or boils. I've seen people a whole lot uglier having a whole lot more fun than me, let me tell you! I'm just shy is all- I'm working on it.
I thought about learning from porn, but oh my goodness it's so lame. I love how the plots degenerate and they never get back to them. Plus they have those penis' in them and I don't even want to look at my own much less someone elses- Girls, if you like the look of a penis then by god I love you to death for it, but I think even the best of them could use some work in the aesthetics department.
So that's enough about me, I suppose, how about a word about what I'm looking for and about what you can reasonably expect from me. I need a woman who will let me just fumble around and discover what works. I know, sounds sexy right? The chances of me being any good at first are slim (about as slim as getting a serious reply to this ad), but with experience and perhaps some good feedback I think I could put on a jolly good show. Remember, all I want to know is how to make you happy- if I can do that then you would have made me the happiest I've ever been... well, since puberty anyway. Now like I said, I'm not experienced, which means that I'm not kinky either- I think you might need a couple of notches in your belt before you can start putting kinks in it, but we can work out the details if you're interested.
I would like to begin with some making out as I am woefully under prepared in all of the romantic arts. I didn't attend public High School so I totally missed out on all of the good make-out opportunities. But in my minds eye I think a great night begins with great making out. I'm totally willing to meet at a coffee shop or some other public forum where you can take stock of the situation and run away if you like- so long as I reserve the same right. But I think if you see fit to answer my ad that you should find its contents accurate and not be surprised by what you see in person. In short, I don't think you would run. We can also take things kinda' slow if you want- I'm serious about making out and I seriously want to be good at it- Come New Years I want to take someone's breath away. If making out is all we do, heck, that sounds mighty fine to me.
Anyway, I'm including a headless picture here, though I assure you that I do indeed have a head and, I think, not a particularly bad model one at that. I'll show it to you as well if you reply and you may get to see it in person if the stars align. Naturally, I have a car and can travel within a reasonable distance. Try to say something specific to this post so I know your aren't spam. As spam is all I really expect to generate here perhaps it would be best if you put "Make Out" in the subject line- that would help a lot and insure a quick response.
Thanks for reading.
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