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One thing I have learned in observation of myself and of past relationships that I have had.....Being Emotionally connected to someone is what makes a relationship. And what keeps the relationship. Doesn't matter how a woman is, or how sweet and caring she is, or how good the sex is, or how nice of a body she has, or how educated or whether I have known her for years....without the emotional connection to hold things together, it doesn't seem to work out into a long lasting relationship. But wait? I always thought that Love is what held two ppl together....I am a very analytical person. Predominantly of myself and my surroundings that affect me. I just came to realize in self reflection, that Love predominately does NOT hold and two people together. I believe the difference between love and being in love is the emotional connection. Here is where everyone wants to move on because of this babbling idiot's writings....Let me explain . On the outward surface , it does appear that love does hold two people together. This outward surface I am referring to is outward toward your partner and to family and friends...A lot of couples that are together for along time say love keeps them together.....and I agree with that to a point....For that is societys expected response. Also their partners expected response. But if whole complete honesty is allowed to be said, I think a lot of couples stay together just because it is easier to stay together than start over. Or , they stay together for the wrong reason. Or, they stay together hoping things in the relationship will get better since they have so much invested in the relationship. I have experienced all these. I know a lot of other people have also. NOW, if you take all these situations , and you re-add an emotional connection to the couple, then all these short-falls disappear. Everyone talks about wanting a "connection" with someone in order to date...I believe all couples heading for love start at some point with an emotional connection that then leads to love....the relationship continues to flourish and both people are "in love"...and some form of commitment is established.....everything is great and wonderful.....time goes by...each relationship is unique and is on its own time frame....but eventually, for some dam reason....the emotional connection starts to break down....it might be one persons fault or both persons...most generally I believe it definitely is not intentional. It could be that " life just got in the way" . At some point the emotional connection is interrupted or its gone. Suddenly, the " in-love" feelings are re-defined as just " love" when no one is paying attention....all that is left is love...Love is not good enough to maintain a truly happy couple. I am sure I am not alone if I were to say that several of my exs that really made it into my heart - I still love.....I know we are not compatible at all, and would not work out together, but I will always have a love for them until I die. I am writing this because I just figured this out. Maybe I knew it before or it was sub-conscious . But what a revelation to be able to put it into words and see it for what it really is and to correctly define it. I guess my main goal in sharing this is hopefully to help people....They say the first step to correcting a problem is to acknowledge there is a problem and what it is...Everyone is looking for the connection in the dating process, but is seams that not too many people are maintaining the connection far after the commitment is made...or they are not understanding what happened to the relationship......" we still love each other ( even more than in the beginning) but something has changed" So if you are experiencing this elusive problem.....go back to basics people...pay more attention to your loved one, listen to what they have to say, take serious concern with the little things as you did in the beginning. Say it like you mean it when you tell them you love them....and remember...actions ALWAYS speak louder than words...if you really do love them without distraction, they will see it in your actions and body language as well as your posture....you can't fake the sub-conscious ...of course what sucks is when one is trying to re- the emotional connection and the other is oblivious . If talking about it doesn't seem to work, just keep on keeping on in your display....eventually, your partner will pick up on it and follow suit...maybe we can all do our part to keep the divorce rate lower HA...Now we all know it takes that connection to jump start a relationship. I always thought that love took over and replaced the connection ( because the connection always seemed to fall by the wayside), but the one true revelation here is that the connection is the only thing to hold the relationship together ..Now that I have this figured out, someday I hope to have the chance to apply this conscious knowledge...
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