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HAHA you clicked it! Wait wait wait hold your judgmental horses you sick twisted fool you.
It's not like all I want out of life are some big hangers. It's not like all I want to do at night is bury my face between two boat pontoons. It's not like all I want is to nurse on some breasts like a newborn. Of course thats not all I want. I want love, and rainbows and and... I want to be chivalrous, yeah thats it. I want to be your knight in freaking armour. Yes I spelled it with a u... that's the olde English way of spelling that ish. I want a vixen a real down chick. With french tipped nails and sexy hair. Someone who smells as good as I do, and I smell freaking terrific. I want a girl with an ass that I can either bounce quarters of of, OR that I could lay on like the softest of pillows... like one of those memory foam shindigs. Yeah.... I want a girl with lips that will make my penis blush. I want a girl with eyes that could start a forest fire, like those exotic cat eyes that Spanish Latin Hispanic Asian chicks have and a sex drive that could make Aphrodite give up and it a day. And if you have those big long thick nipples the ones that you either wear like a badge of honour(again with e u) or ones that you desperately try and cover up, you move to the front of the line miss thang. How bout them apps? I want all these things.
I want a chick who loves to laugh. Someone who doesnt mind that I love baseball. Someone who loves to cuddle. No ... demands cuddling. I want a girl that thinks my ejaculations are exciting, because god damnit they ARE exciting. And ya know what if she knows they are nutritious amino acids and protein and also double as a invigorating face and breast cream. YES that is a woman.
By god... I think you've got it kitten.
Did I mention I look like Matt Damon was spliced with Leo Dicapprio? Yeah so I look like I could use a paper towel roll as a deadly weapon(Bourne styele) and also invade your wettest dreams(inception)
Stop being a absolute wussy your whole life and pick up the and order this pie god damnit. And when you do let me know your damned breast size and how proud you are of it in the headline.
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