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I can't get it right. I did what I thought you wanted me to do. I thought it was our ticket out of here, but once again I was wrong. I'm not fast enough to keep up and this isn't fun when it feels like this. i don't know what you're trying to tell me. I can't sort through it , there's too much. And when I get it wrong, you ask me to do it over. I am fried today, maybe another time I will figure it out. I take the things you say to heart - the truth and the fiction - it hurts. I just want the truth now. I'm too sensitive now to be up for the game. All my insides are hanging out and I keep waiting for you to validate that all of this really happened. At this point we're not a missed connection anymore. Why are we here? After everything that's been said, it feels cold and lonely and why is it always on your terms? I don't want to send my wishes for you into space anymore when I know you want to be with me too. I cry every night for you, for the misguided expectations and the of missing you. We've said everything that needs to be said. I can't do anything more to prove my feelings and my sincerity to you, other than wait and keep my promises of friendship. The second you for me, I will be on my way. I'm not a puppet for you to provoke - it's like you're testing me. I said I could go the distance for you and I can and will but I can't keep it up here. I have to sit it out for a bit at least. I'm sure I'll miss you so much by tomorrow I'll be right back at it. And this is what needs to be on the table now, maybe it will give you some insight into who I am. I'll wait as long as you want me to. No sleep and all the crying has had an effect on the way I see things, as if it's not hard enough already. I love you, I really do. I'm here waiting. you know I always look for you. Maybe tomorrow will be different.
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